Feeling needed is necessary for deep and lasting emotional healing.
This is the fifth of the 10 Emotional Needs of the Soul.
When I was young, I was needed a lot. I am the oldest of six kids, and my mother was ill a lot of the time. So she depended on me and my sister (next oldest in the family) to take care of the younger children.
I became very skilled at taking care of other people, and that lingered with me well in to my thirties.
Then I rebelled. I finally realized I wasn’t very good at taking care of myself. My life took a turn, and I became all about empowerment and self-care.
During the period of time I believed I was empowering others, I was actually giving away more of my time and energy to others than I could afford to give. Ironically, I was living out one of my greatest fears—that I wasn’t good enough—as I felt less and less needed.
What I didn’t realize was that feeling needed is a necessary part of finding ones value and place in community.
A sense of meaning and purpose.
It was some time before I finally understood the balance that allowed me to take care of myself and be appropriately needed.
Feeling needed is typically developed between the ages of 7-13. In a healthy environment, this is when you discover that your talents are valued.
Your presence and gifts makes your community stronger and more complete.
You discover that your contributions matter and you are important to the whole. And if you are not involved, you are missed.
Your identity in community takes shape.
Without this sense of feeling needed, you might find yourself wondering why you are here, feeling superfluous, not being motivated to create, or feeling as though people are always wanting something from you. You might feel as though people are always taking from you, or that you aren’t good enough for anything.
If you did not acquire a sense of meaning and purpose when you were younger, or you threw it all out, like I did, it can be quite a relief to realize you can discover how and why you are needed right now.
You can use the Holding meditation (free) to Hold your feelings of separation until you can feel how needed and important you truly are. If you want to go deeper into the Holding, Secrets of the Sacred Feminine Revealed will provide you with insights for getting the most out of the practice of Holding.
After all, when you were conceived in the mind of the Divine, you were dreamed into being because you were needed for something the Divine wanted to experience through you.
Earth is the land of discovery. This is where we get to have the experience of remembering just how important and precious we are to Divine consciousness.
Consider taking your feelings of not feeling needed, or your desire to feel needed, into The Holding so you can discover your sacred purpose—on earth—and in the Universe.