I didn’t even know it was possible. There I was, just a couple of days ago, in a visionary state realizing I had made a decision many lifetimes ago about this lifetime that was in complete opposition to an agreement I had made just before accepting this life. Now I am well aware a person can have lingering beliefs and feelings from previous lifetimes affecting their current life, but opposing soul agreements! That was completely new to me.

Apparently, many lifetimes ago I had a vision that if I met a certain person in this lifetime, he was going to die early and painfully. In order to protect this individual, I decided it would be best not to meet him. Then, before becoming embodied in this lifetime, we agreed to meet to further our mutual goals. That created quite a dilemma, didn’t it?

Recently, I have been chatting with a friend of mine who has a grand cross in her astrological chart. This means she has two sets of opposing forces at work all the time. I asked her how she lives with it. She describes her life as very challenging (because so much in her chart is working in opposition rather than in harmony). In her case, she finds she must be open to change, stay in the flow of energy and remain unattached to such feelings as worrying about what is not happening. She has discovered she cannot attach to how things are in any given moment. Doesn’t that sound like a prescription for the ideal spiritual life?

Heading toward the center

Her beautiful sharing stimulated my dreams this morning. I was lingering in the energy of a cross, drawn to its center. Much like the Buddhist mandalas, the cross members of the Native American medicine wheel, the Jewish Star of David, or the Christian cross I was contemplating in my dream today—the heart of these sacred symbols all lead to the center. There in the center, our minds are clear and open enough to see all possibilities, respond to the moment’s creative flow, and live without attachment to how we think or feel things must be. In the center, we transcend the limits of the internal tug-of-war. We simply are in balance with all of creation.

If I believed that we as humans are only driven by fate, I would be at a loss right now, unsure about my path. Or if I believed we are creatures of free will and choice only—I would be equally lost in my life without a sense of direction. But I have learned the best experiences of life are rarely about either-or. Both fate and free-will can co-exist within the same space. My memories tell me, through Divine will, I entered this lifetime with a map or design in mind. My life shows me that the routes I choose to take are sometimes different than the route I originally laid out.

Trusting in a harmonious state not yet defined

Since the “fate” of my soul has given me two opposing options, I open to Divine insight. After all, where there are two options, there is usually a third, possibly a fourth, maybe a fifth…..

Just as I allowed myself to be drawn to the center of the cross in my dream this morning, I choose to be in the center of myself in my waking reality. Probabilities can shift. I’m willing to be open to alternative options that lead to a greater state of harmony, yet to be realized.

Quantum physics is showing us that by simply observing what is taking place, reality seems to respond to the act of being observed. The Holding meditation teaches me that probabilities held in love and compassion become acts of reality that frequently transcend perceived limits. There is always a way out of tug-of-war.

What previous lessons in my life have taught me is to simply observe with an open heart, allowing another probability to emerge, and then of course, to follow.