There we were, standing in ceremony around the sacred fire to honor the Divine Reunion of our Sacred Masculine and Sacred Feminine natures, and most of us were women. For so many years now, I have attended ceremonies in which the greater number of participants have been women. This week of SpiritQuest ceremonies, culminating with our Divine Reunion ceremony was not a namby-pamby week of fluffy rituals. So where were our male counterparts? Where were the sacred warriors?

Some of them were there—inside of one woman and one man—the ones who quested, fasting and praying for three days for the betterment of their community, humanity and our planet. Sacred warriors could be found in the three initiates who made their vows to open doorways to the Sacred Feminine by offering water ceremonies, journeys and meditations in their communities.

Other sacred warriors could be seen in the women who bravely met their limiting feelings and beliefs, and allowed a community to support them in making substantial, soul-level changes. I saw sacred warriors in the little children who bravely sat in sweat lodge with me, lifting their voices in songs to dispel their fears of the dark and heat.

I saw sacred warriors in the courageous few men who came to participate in ceremony by willingly giving in support. In the power of their own Sacred Feminine, these men sang honor songs and held space with me as we acknowledged the commitment and chosen paths of women who were dedicating their lives in service.

They smiled broadly when a 12-year old young woman made it clear she wished to quest next year in her journey into adulthood. And they took my curious 10-year-old grandson to where one of our men had quested, when he had expressed interest in making his own quest soon.

As we sang our honor songs on the last day of ceremonies, I couldn’t help but think, “If only men knew what difference they make when they come to ceremony and hold space for their women and children.”

My adopted daughter now has a vision in her heart of what it means when a man honors you as a woman and spiritual being. My grandson has role models of men who honor women rather than abuse them or take them for granted. A little 3-year old girl bonded with one of the men, and finally she knew what it felt like when a man truly cares about you and loves to be with you. Our girls and boys now know that as they choose to grow spiritually, there will not only be women there to hold space for them, there will be men there as well.

Women, who have not known what it means to be supported spiritually by men, discovered how beautiful it is to be held in the Sacred Feminine of a man’s witnessing and honor of them. What powerful gifts!

In a world where, “What’s in it for me?” has become the focus of our decision-making, ceremony challenges us to surrender that question. The true value of ceremony does not lie in what we will get out of it, for it cannot truly be defined. Rather, its value lies in what we have to give. When we give freely from our talents and gifts in service to others, we do receive—but in ways that cannot be quantified ahead of time.

At Quest, our questers prepare for a year in prayer (2,555 of them to be exact). You can imagine how many of those prayers are for their community, loved ones, humanity, earth, consciousness, etc. When they go to their sacred place to fast and pray a beautiful portal of sacred energy opens. Anyone who is there to support them in their Quest is blessed by the grace of the spiritual energy flowing through that doorway. This also happens each time an initiate prepares for a year and makes a vow of service in ceremony.

All of us who choose to hold sacred space for them (the true feminine nature of the Divine), receive the blessings that pour forth through the sacred doorways that have been opened. So you see, we do receive—all of us, and yet, that is not our focus.

What man’s heart is not overflowing, when a child receives his love? What man is not filled to his bones in pride, when his beloved commits to be in service to the wounded hearts of men and women? What woman is not healed to her core when she tells a man how much his support means to her?

The sacred warrior is one who chooses to lovingly embrace his or her truth, no matter how difficult or easy that truth may be to accept. The sacred warrior stands for what he or she believes in both commitment and action, even when that commitment or action stretches them beyond their comfort. The sacred warrior stands behind those who commit to furthering personal and planetary freedom because commitment to such freedom deserves as much strength as we all can give. The sacred warrior receives because when he or she stands in presence of deeper truth, they are an open vessels for the Divine.

I honor from the depths of my heart the sacred warriors who were present at SpiritQuest and long for the day when more of the sacred warriors living within our men join us. I believe then we will experience the fulfillment of our spiritual freedom in the Divine Reunion as men and women together.

A Prayer for Spiritual Warriors