Valuing yourself for who you are is a Sacred Feminine or yin quality that is important to your well-being. So is the Sacred Masculine or yang quality of valuing yourself for what you achieve. When you value who you are and what you have achieved, you find balance between these two powerful energies.
This balance allows you to enjoy greater emotional harmony. The good news is that you can begin manifesting your best, balanced state by focusing on the emotional qualities you value the most.
First, let’s look at what happens in relationship when we are out of balance?
Many of us get out of balance with these two energies when we attempt to find personal value solely through accomplishment. In that endeavor, or in resistance to it, some of us crash and burn to the point we are unable to accomplish anything. We try to push ourselves into action, and that only makes the exhaustion worse.
Either we are so busing achieving that we don’t really have time and energy to allow someone else into our space, or we are too exhausted to be able to actually enjoy someone. If we are not in balance with our own energy, we have a difficult time finding or being with a balanced partner.
When we are out of balance, our current partner or potential partners reflect our own state of imbalance. They reflect not only what we love about ourselves, but they also reflect our fears. Those fears keep us from enjoying the deep and meaningful relationships we long for.
Of course, this is the journey of relationship—balance within yourself and balance with another person. But if you don’t have a regular practice for maintaining your own balance, it is likely that anyone you attract won’t have a regular practice either.
Two people out of balance only have fun for a little while. Isn’t it true that it is much easier to be patient and understanding, and less inclined to try to fix each other, when you know your partner is making true effort to address his or her fears and limits, and is actually opening to their Divine nature? Isn’t it probable that your partner would want you to pay the same attention to your own inner balance?
Creating inner balance and relationships of joy…
When you are in balance, you establish a field of balance. Then it is easier for your partner to simply gravitate toward the balance you have established.
When you are clear about the qualities you are creating in your life, it is easier for your partner to gravitate to the same qualities in you that they value.
I invite you to take a moment to reflect on the partnership you would most enjoy. Whether you are attracting a new partner or have a partner; whether your partner is a man or a woman…
… describe your perfect partner, emotionally. Write down the emotional qualities of this person that fill you with joy. Then ask yourself, “How could I bring more of those qualities into my life right now, without a partner, or without trying to get my partner to do anything?”
Use Holding to invite into your world the emotional qualities you love most…
Use The Holding meditation (available at this website for free) to bring your love to the qualities you wish to experience through relationship with a partner. (To get your own audio recording of The Holding, be sure to sign up on the home page of this website. Keep it handy so that you can use it often.)
You can adapt this meditation quite simply by sitting quietly and undisturbed. Open your heart. Breathe into the space. Open to your womb, which is connected to the primordial womb of life. Hold one quality you desire in love, and without agenda. Hold until you feel this quality awakened in your love.
You can use this meditation to focus on specific qualities you want to experience within your current relationship or within a new relationship, without attaching that quality to someone else. This meditation is about opening to the quality in your life rather than attempting to change someone. 😉
Therefore it is important, not to become attached to any specific person needing to embody these qualities for you. It’s about you becoming the qualities that are calling to you!
By becoming the qualities you want to attract, you are using the energy of the Sacred Feminine to attract your perfect, and most meaningful partnership. If you are currently in a relationship, it is a beautiful way to invite more of the qualities you love.
