finding your soul mateAre you ready? Been ready? Wondering where the heck your beloved soul mate is hiding?

That’s how I felt just before I met my husband, Jeffrey. But quite honestly I didn’t recognize him the first time I met him! Why? Because I was looking everywhere he wasn’t!

There was something I had to discover before I would recognize him as my life partner.

How to find your soul mate and life partner—remembering to start with yourself

Most of us are so busy looking for our soul mates, we forget to look at ourselves. Yet noted psychologists, such as Dr. David Steele, the author of Conscious Dating, Finding the Love of Your Life in Today’s World (, reminds us,

Choosing a life partner starts with you.

finding your soul mateHe tells us there are more single adults in the world now than there ever have been before. (So maybe the odds of finding our partners are really better than we think they are.)

To create a conscious approach to dating, he recommends mentoring to help you find your way.

Like Dr. Steele, I discovered that mentoring helped me get clear about what I needed to pay attention to inside of me in order to actually receive a relationship and life partner.

Who is my soul mate?

In finding your soul mate, it is easy to get caught up in all kinds of definitions of what constitutes a soul mate. Without getting into descriptions of the separation of the original soul, soul families, and past lives, here’s a great definition of a soul mate by Shelly Bullard, (,

What I believe is that a soul mate is a person with whom you are unexplainably drawn to be in relationship.

finding your soul mateThat was certainly the perfect definition of my relationship with Jeffrey. He and I hit it off fabulously when we met and we continued to grow in our enjoyment of each other with every conversation, meal, drive, phone call, trip, and walk we took.

It was just easy to be together, whether we were doing something in service like holding a Sound Healing Concert or something mundane like going to the grocery store together.

Even though we had such a great time together, I actually tried to push him away, because I just didn’t envision him as my soul mate. With the kind of spiritual work I do, I had envisioned a spiritual protector. Because I didn’t want to engage in the disrespectful energy of trying to change him, I told him I needed to stop seeing him.

He didn’t like the separation I imposed and didn’t want to lose me, but after several hours of “lively debate,” he accepted my decision. He decided to emotionally support me in my choice by remaining a friend. His heart was true.

After only a couple of weeks, I couldn’t stand it any more. I couldn’t stand being apart from him. I discovered that I really didn’t want to lose him.

finding your soul mateHere was a man who loved me so much, he was willing to endure the pain of separation, as I wrestled with my own inner conflicts. I knew that he was stronger than I realized if he could accept my unique craziness and quirks, and still love me.

After years of searching for my “soul mate,” I finally realized that my real life partner was the one consistently, lovingly showing up.

Thankfully, I finally recognized how happy I felt when I was with him, and realized he was the one that Spirit had sent to me.

While he was not the soul mate I thought I was looking for, he was the right soul mate for me.

But he still wasn’t the spiritual protector I envisioned my life partner would be. So I had to figure out how I was going to make sure that need was fulfilled. I had to ask myself some hard questions with the help of a friend and mentor.

Here were the questions my mentor got me to look at that helped me see what I needed to do in accepting, and therefore, finding my soul mate:

  • How am I getting in the way of the deeper inner happiness that attracts my partner?
  • What do I need to know, be or do to create that greater happiness that attracts my partner?

Once I understood that for me, feeling safe was part of being happy, and that feeling safe was my responsibility, it freed up the energy. Jeffrey didn’t threaten my safety in any way. He was safe. Furthermore, I decided, it wasn’t his or anyone’s job to protect me. It was mine.finding your soul mate

My friend and mentor helped me look at myself and understand that in order to be with Jeffrey, I needed to learn how to be my own spiritual protector.

That’s what I needed to do to further my own happiness and that’s what I chose to do. Ultimately, that proved to be an excellent opportunity for me to grow spiritually into the depths of love, in ways I never could have envisioned.

Finally finding your soulmate and life partner

I discovered it is important to consider these two questions when you are looking for your life partner. Because if you are creating your happiness, your capacity to attract your right partner (and as in my case, recognize him) is much greater when you have answers to those questions.

It all starts inside ourselves, doesn’t it?

Ask anyone you know that found their life partner about what they did inwardly that allowed them to finally meet their soul mate, and you’ll discover just how much internal discoveries play a role.

As a psychic, I know how difficult it can be to see how we get in our own way, as well as see what we need to do to create the happiness that attracts our true loves. Because I understand this, I’d like to offer a little support to you if you are looking for your beloved…a unique Valentine mini-reading exploring just those same two questions for you.

finding your soul mateThis special, Soul Mate mini-reading is at a super-reduced price, so give yourself something special! Discover what you need to create within yourself for (recognizing) and finding your soul mate—the life partner that is right for you!