Being appreciated is the fourth of the 10 Emotional Needs of the Soul.
Whether you are a woman or man, feeling appreciated is a fundamental desire that seeks to be fulfilled in one’s lifetime, preferably between the ages of 3-7. But if that didn’t happen then, know that there is hope. It can be fulfilled right now.
I used to think that feeling appreciated meant I was self-centered, and that I needed to wave off a compliment or recognition of me. If I had let appreciation become a kind of narcissistic pride and I wasn’t appreciating others, then that would have been a problem. But that would have been a long ways away from simply allowing myself to feel appreciated for something I had achieved.
I now realize that wanting to be appreciated is a normal desire. I discovered that there is a difference between seeking appreciation and receiving it. When I was seeking it, I was attached to it. Attachment comes with an inner urge to try to make people do what you want them to do so that you feel better. When I was seeking appreciation, I felt disappointed if I wasn’t being appreciated by someone.
However, when I am doing what I love to do for the pure joy of doing it, I appreciate my life! In those moments, I don’t need a compliment or recognition. It’s already happening internally, naturally. In those instances, receiving a genuine compliment from someone and allowing myself to fully take it to heart is a sweet and exhilarating feeling.
Like all of the unfulfilled 10 Emotional Needs of the Soul, if we have not felt adequately appreciated in our lives, we begin the healing by appreciating ourselves. Then the world can demonstrate appreciation to us, because we will naturally attract it, and the feeling of appreciation is quite gratifying and can be very motivating.
If you weren’t appreciated as a child…
If your parents were too wounded to provide this, or karmic circumstances set up a predisposition to not feel fully appreciated as a child, you might find yourself:
- Experiencing low self-esteem
- Feeling used, bullied, or taken for granted
- Ridiculing or discouraging your own attempts to accomplish
- Not feeling as though you matter or make a difference
- Under valuing your own unique gifts and insights
- Unmotivated to fully participate in life
In contrast, if your parents were healed and whole in this regard, and able to completely appreciate you as a child, you experience…
- Feeling encouraged
- Knowing you matter
- Understanding that what you are and what you do make a difference
- Appreciating your attempts as well as your accomplishments
- Finding value in your unique gifts and insights
- Feeling motivated to participate in life
At any time, you can fulfill the deep longing inside you to feel appreciated by taking this desire into the Holding meditation (available for free here at our website).
How to Hold yourself in the energy of appreciation…
As you prepare to Hold this desire, begin by opening yourself to love with a memory of any moment of love, from any lifetime.
Love has many flavors from delight to romance, kindness or compassion. You might feel love for another or feel loved by someone. However, you get there, open your heart and make sure that with whatever other emotions rise and fall, you remain open to love.
As you hold your desire to feel appreciated you might notice sorrow or anger about how empty you feel about being appreciated. That is natural. Allow yourself to feel within the cocoon of your love.
As various emotions rise up from the well of your being, deepen your love. Keep your container secure.
In time, all that will remain is silent stillness and love. Let yourself linger in that love. It is important not to rush the silence.
From out of the silence, naturally, you will feel yourself being appreciated.
You might feel the energy, or remember a lifetime in which you were appreciated. Let the energy and/or the memory fill you.
You might feel appreciated in your first Holding session or it might take 90 days of consistent Holding, but the feeling of being appreciated will come.
Give yourself many opportunities to feel appreciated. It is that important to feeling good about yourself and your life.
May you enjoy greater Divine love, self-appreciation, and extraordinary experiences in your life! Please share your experiences of feeling appreciated below.