Turning Blame and Family Wounds Into Emotional Healing

Someone once posed a couple of intriguing questions to me that got me to look at my entire life in a whole new way. The question was, “What if you had some say, before you got to earth, about who your family would be? How would that influence your view about your childhood and your life?”

My first thought was, “No way. I didn’t choose this dysfunctional family.” But those are the kind of questions that haunt you until you at least try them on for size. Otherwise, given my beliefs at the time, I was going to have to assume God was either cruel or crazy, or I had to assume God believed I could transform a stressful childhood into a great adulthood for some greater good I couldn’t quite imagine yet.

If I did choose this life, I must have had a good reason and I wondered what the heck that might be. Otherwise, I figured my soul was hanging out in some far-out bar and I had just smoked some very wild stuff, when a recruiter came around asking for volunteers for tough earth assignments. I might as well see if I could understand a good reason for the difficult childhood I experienced.

So, I imagined my soul was existing in some comfortable setting and I was writing my case argument for my life on earth. I explained why I was choosing these parents, at this time period, in this city. I argued for parents of their political persuasion, religious views, income level, social perspectives, personal challenges and personal strengths.

I explained how I would use the adversities and gifts of this childhood to learn, develop compassion and eventually develop myself into a better human being.

When I finished, I was in shock! I no longer had a single reason for blaming my parents for any of their inadequacies as humans or as parents. I didn’t have a reason to blame God or myself. All I had left was the naked realization of my ability to take a difficult, painful beginning and use it to turn myself into a realized human being.

Taking Your Emotional Healing Even Deeper as You Heal the Pain of Your Inner Child

Some years later I learned to Hold the emotional wounds I developed as a child so they would no longer affect my life or my relationships with my family. I did that using a specific program for healing the inner child channeled from St. Germain by my elder, Gretchen Schultz.

It is a common misunderstanding that you can meet the emotional needs of the wounded child spirit within you as an adult. But my elder taught me (via St. Germain) taught me that when the child has been wounded, the healing must be done where the child lives—inside your spirit.

Emotional Healing Awakens You Spiritually

The combination of these two powerful processes: 1) Writing my case argument for my family, and 2) healing the unmet emotional needs that resulted from my wounding as a child became foundations for my emotional health.

I discovered just how powerful this kind of inner mystical work can be. A Native elder once taught me it is the child spirit within that leads us boldly into the realms of the unknown Mystery. Therefore, your child spirit needs to be strong and happy to carry you into a lasting experience of the beauty and wonders of the Divine.

Guided Meditation for Healing Family Emotional Wound and Experiencing Freedom

Find a quiet space. Sit comfortably and close your eyes. Breathe gently into yourself until your mind and body quiet down. Become aware of your heart and breathe. Just breathe until your mind and body become still and your heart opens.

There it is~that old discomfort. You think it is healed, and there it is again demanding attention. It will not be ignored, so open your heart and let it in. Be present with the feeling~whatever it is. It exists for a reason and longs to be known, witnessed and understood. Allow your heart to wrap itself around the feeling. Let the feeling be as it is so that it can be truly understood in your compassion. Notice that in your witnessing, the feeling slowly transforms on its own, until all that is left is love.

When you feel full, breathe deeply, exhaling through your mouth. Wiggle your fingers and toes. Gently open your eyes. Live in the emergence of your emotional freedom.