Have you ever thought to yourself that because you have things figured out well enough in your life, you can just coast for a bit? I know I have.
And while the “I have things figured out” voice is urging you on, a little voice in the back of your mind is warning you not to be too smug. Some part of you knows that if you assume your apprenticeship in life is over or on hold, your life could end up being like stagnant water. Complacency can be a place to hide when some part of you wants to experience greater flow and greater fulfillment, but another part of you knows that in order to experience free, unobstructed flow, you would need to do some deeply honest introspection.
I recently had a fascinating conversation with two of our initiated elders from the Sacred Path of the Feminine on this topic. Their insights were thought provoking. When I asked them what they thought we run away from when we become trapped in complacency they both said that we enter into this frozen state of thinking that we don’t need to learn and evolve when we don’t want to look at what we have been attracting, what is not working, and what is not satisfying in our lives.
If my own life is representative, their assessment of the reason we become complacent is spot on. I once spent a significant part of my life telling myself I knew enough. I didn’t learn new ways of developing because I couldn’t believe that my unhappiness and dissatisfaction were the result of my own beliefs, habits and choices. Those patterns of thoughts, feelings and behaviors had become normal for me and I had grown somewhat comfortable with my almost functional world.
I was doing okay, but I certainly wasn’t happy, and I definitely wasn’t living a life of joy. I was getting by and calling that good enough.
It would have been extremely difficult to admit that my world was a reflection of my pain, and that my decisions were influenced more by my pain than by my inner peace. What I didn’t know was that the sexual abuse I had experienced as a child was the greatest pain influencing my life. Since I couldn’t remember the event, it was part of my unknown—an unknown I didn’t want to remember. My life wasn’t working as well as I wanted it to, but I didn’t want to see the root of my suffering or the basis of my unrest and dissatisfaction with my world.
I wanted to feel fully accepted, but I didn’t know how to accept my pain as a legitimate part of me needing to be loved. What I didn’t understand was that if I wanted to be able to fully accept myself, I was going to have to sacrifice and let go of my fear of the unknown. I was going to have to find a way to love the wound I couldn’t remember.
What I didn’t understand then was that by entering into the unknown with my own compassionate heart and experiencing the love that was there, I would become free from my fear of the unknown. In that freedom I would find all of the self-acceptance and understanding that I could ever want. I would even be able to hold the part of me that attracted sexual abuse as an experience in this lifetime—the self-abuser inside of me. I didn’t know that I could love that pain until it existed no more, and I was completely free from its influence in my enthusiasm for life.
The unknown is another way to describe the Sacred Feminine—a vast, limitless womb of potential. What we don’t realize when we are in our complacency is that the remedy is the very body of the unknown that we fear.
The potential of the human being is quite fearsome. We have the potential to be abusive monsters or caring saints. When our potential is initiated in love, we are born as amazing, loving beings. When we disconnect from the love, our abusive tendencies manifest.
In the Sacred Feminine we have the capacity to love it all. So when our abusive tendencies or our experiences of being abused are held in the Sacred Feminine, we return to love and are reborn in the womb of that love.
In complacency we are often avoiding a wound within ourselves that we don’t want to remember. Compassion in the Sacred Feminine is what our soul longs for because in that compassion the source of our wound will be loved and understood, and we will be reborn in that love. The action that emerges from our rebirth will be right action in the full expression of our loving passion for life.
(See our video series, Secrets of the Sacred Feminine Revealed for ways to safely enter the unknown and hold the abuser and victim that lives inside of everyone: http://www.newdreamfoundation.com/sacred-feminine-secrets.htm)
Complacency is call from the unknown. It is a call to compassion—deep abiding compassion. Complacency is a call to return to the loving, universal womb of the Sacred Feminine. After being in its still and quiet caress, your life force will emerge in flow with your deepest longings.
That is so true and rare. I am very proud and pleased to say I am in the mntoriiy, in that I have one of the most incredible wives and have been blessed to share so much with Deb. She is a true partner. And through our entire 23 wonderful years have pledged that divorce would never be a word that would ever come into play. I can say we have always put each other first which is probably the key to the success of our happiness. I put her on a pedestal every day and I have never felt any less than respect, friendship, and love from my wife.